24 September 2010

What next ?

I am surprised, I have not even visited my blog page for more than ten weeks, yet there has been regular traffic, messages asking when the next post would be, and the follower number touched 50; this puts a smile on my face- this World is full of innocent victims and I love that !!

While there is no particular reason for me keeping off this page, I need to confess that I am done with the initial phase of  'trying to astonish' ; I have been saying only what I felt like; many liked, few were resentful. Well, quite a few got impressed; husband's colleagues' "WOW" and close friends and relatives'  "IS THIS YOU?" fed my hunger for attention well enough that I comfortably assumed myself a writer. Checking back each day on comments I might get and added followers was satiating; Now, what next?

There are not many things I am good at, one of them being 'constantly impressive' . But I think I am at my best at things like handling people, crisis management, analyzing Situation & Personality and Parenting skills (till date). May be with a mellowed down mentality, I should try to quench the thirst of those who honestly thought I can write.

So, will be back very soon with things I know and NOT with deliberate self-portrayal. Be patient till then.
It may be worth it.
Have a fantastic weekend !!


04 July 2010

To be or not to be....a PERFECTIONIST

If you are a perfectionist like me, then we have something to talk about today; if you are not one, excuse me, get back for my next write-up, today's is not for you.

Those who are still here, congratulations...we are God's best creation, atleast that's what we think about ourselves. Its true , there is no one in this world who can accomplish what we do, right? And proud human beings, who cannot accept anything lesser to perfection, wise,  constantly vigilant, disciplined, we make life easy for others since they have it ready made.

Downside is that we are obsessed, decently hiding OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) under the wrap, never satisfied , often inviting psychosomatic disorders on us for e.g Migraine.

Well, I am not here to discuss this medically, what concerns me of late is that we are not unique as we thought, but in fact the odd ones out. Perceived as hyper critical, meticulous being branded as obsessed, worst thing is we cannot approve our own mistakes , leave alone others tolerating it.

I am surrounded by imperfect species, my loving and lovable ones are happy-go-lucky type. Many of my best friends benefit from my committed, genuine, discerning nature. All said and done, the issue is when I go wrong..imagine me going wrong, while I myself cannot accept that , I have a suspicion that those around me wait desperately for me to err, it starts something like " You too Brutus?" , goes on to victimizing me , deriving immense pleasure from " if you can, why can't we?"  I bet you all have faced similar situation, taken for granted for your perfection,  unemphatically and blatantly dismissed as  inadequate and blemished.

I have thought about it for quite sometime and decided to go against my law; Why are we flawless? Is there any need to be? Afterall , we can also break rules, allow ourselves few pleasures, be one among then majority, more acceptable. Heaven wont fall on Earth if we mess around, or even if it does, who cares? No jewel is made out of pure gold, so ready to get tarnished.

The advantage here is all are pleased, relieved, they don't feel guilty about what they are and we are happy together. Let go, there is definitely fun is being imperfect, enjoy it and most important is when you go wrong others now do not wait to victimize you; instead they are glad to help you out; may be we can get healthier too.

Be a Roman while in Rome !!!!  Let's be perfectly imperfect !!!!!

04 May 2010

He Smiled....

He smiled ; I was shocked, baffled, taken aback,,,, HOW can He smile? How can HE smile? Unbelievable, but He did. I rubbed my eyes and looked again. He continued to smile subtly, gently, distinctly. The place was crowded; my appointment with Him was for less than a minute. Before I began to analyse things, the crowd pushed me out of the Sanctum Sanctorum of Tirupati.

I came out confused; it didn't fit into any rationale. I was far from being fine; may be I was exhausted, may be I was overwhelmed. I just wanted to believe that I imagined.  I never tried to recall that incident though it kept haunting me for the next couple of months. At the end, it crystallized to 2 queries:

                                     1. Why did He smile?

                                     2. Why could I not smile back?

While the first question remains unanswered yet, I throw the second one at you all, my fellow travelers in this journey towards Destiny.

Its immaterial which deity or religion you follow, its also inconsequential whether you are an agnostic or an atheist. Read the He here as your inner conscience, think along with me, what would you do if you were me? Do you have the guts to face yourself ? If you say 'no' the way I do, then I can tell you with conviction that its all very simple. All that we need is to declutter the junk, clear the cobwebs and exterminate the guilt. Its all about leading a meaningful life, to live & let live, to be happy & make others happy, to tolerate, withstand and love. Its time to hatch out of egg to caterpillar, shed the skin to turn into a Pupa and emerge as colourful as a butterfly, fluttering its wings, free, gentle and gorgeous.

Its all about facing the God within you with confidence; the next time He smiles at me , I can smile back.

When I can, you can too.


08 February 2010

From my diary

Few pages from my personal diary which you are permitted to peep. You will be able to connect with the matter if you have anytime taken anyone for granted. Read on..

Every one has a mother, so do I. I am a mother too, of two talented, loving and very deserving children. What differs is that they have made me feel special always which I have never done to my mother. Should I wait for mother's day to think of her? Guess no. All that I need to do is glance at myself at the mirror and there she is...every feature, mannerism resembling her, I am what she was decades ago. I have always been my father's daughter and mother's competitor, failing miserably each time I attempted to stand the pace with her. I still cannot figure out what prevented me from acknowledging her, ego or complex?

All this dawned when she is now struck by Parkinson's disease, confined to wheelchair, her beauty and magnetic charm shrunk and singing skills diminished to mere mumbling. Isn't it time to swap roles and be her mother? Reciprocate all the care I have only received and never given ? Express the fact that I am in no way comparable to her?  I determined to confess. During my recent visit, I gathered all guts and decided to unburden my guilt. As I sat holding her stiff fingers, incoherently struggling for phrases, emotions choking my throat, I once again failed miserably...not a single word came out of me. May be next time, may be never....Tears rolled down my cheeks as I stood to depart and with hers eyes gleaming, she smiled. She won again. I am convinced, if a mother doesn't understand, no one can. 

Note : In case you share similar feelings like mine, make a quick list of those whom you have taken for granted and settle it. May be late,yet its not too late.

08 December 2009

Living Vs. Life

I was eight years old when I first stole money from my grandfather’s pocket...the amount as small as Rs.2, sufficient enough to fulfil my candy requirement. Now, my eight year old child has a bank account, an ATM card with a defined drawing limit. His adequate pocket money leaves no room for emptying grandfather’s pocket. I pity my child. His childishness is stolen.

Needless to mention that we are hooked to technological comfort, luxury and sophistication which paved way for a better living, but where is life? I cannot help comparing the rivers that taught us to swim with the chlorinated swimming pools,the moon light dinners to candle lit ones and the dozen cousins with whom we chatted endlessly to those now accessed only through Yahoo Messenger and that too in heavily American accented mother tongue.The farms we visited is substituted by Farmville,bed time stories by CDs,the thrill of climbing countless trees and boarding / alighting fast moving trains by virtual games.We drank well water and were not vaccinated for unpronounceable diseases.Not once were we counselled by experts,never needed Google to answer our queries.We literally laughed out loud and didn't have to LOL online.

A couple of decades and our lives turned topsy-turvy.I forgot when exactly I shut my real life door and opened the virtual windows to view the world.The world is small now-yet the gap wide,life advanced-relationship declined,bondage is now matter of connectivity,blood is not thicker anymore,its the bandwidth.Why would I greet anyone personally on a festive occasion when I can comfortably bulk sms?Its me and you who have allowed the trespasser to intrude and dominate.

Today,my fridge is filled with chocolates imported from every nook and corner of this planet,yet my candy bought by stolen 2 rupees was sweeter.I wish my kids taste it too.

11 November 2009

Drive safe,through life

Mumbai has an unexpected visitor this week,..its raining again.

Its beautiful,what fascinates me more is a drive,preferably a long one, rejuvenating,unless you are at the driver's seat.

I mean,its never a pleasing task to drive on any Indian road.First of all,you have the speed breakers all over,you actually don't need at all,there are enough puddles to substitute them,right?Then comes the aggressive bikers,touch & go rickshaws,unpredictable walkers....making it a rather painful than a pleasant experience.Yet,if anyone has mastered the art of defensive & safe driving,I can say he has conquered life.Let me tell you how.

If you were to consider the road as life,the puddles & speed breakers(almost synonymous) represent ups & downs and hurdles in life.We strategically wade through the speeding overtakers,the mad crowd... with patience and  all we need is to be certain about the destination and avoid accident.

Despite all the trials,its a pleasing venture,truly beautiful,worth a try.

01 November 2009

Get the most out of You

I am seriously contemplating on how I landed into maintaining a blog..... not that it is a historic event to commemorate, but how did it ever happen ?  Am I destined to, born for it, my passion or goal ??

It is not that I am all new to enlightening of somebody nor do I lack enriching thoughts.  Being a verbose, I have tirelessly edified everyone with everything I knew(needless to mention that they got tired of me).  I seized every possible opportunity to contribute to the well being of my companions.  For a while, I shot all the open manholes in and around city, got them published & ultimately had them covered.  Soon I threw in the towel when realization dawned on me that such a mission was interminable.  My next pick was something called billboard on a Mumbai daily which had catchy, sensible two liners that led to social awakening.  One fine day, the daily had their funds exhausted(I was paid Rs.200 for 2 lines,can you believe?) that they did away with that particular module leaving me exasperated.There were more such attempts to add but I won't.

So, here I am penning down my thoughts, connecting with you all, hopefully productive.

If I am supposed to leave a message in every write-up, here I go. Whatever you are into, give your best.  There is no dearth of opportunities.  Identify and ignite the spark that lies within you.  Even if your were to clean the washroom, do it as if no one can do it better than you. You may not reach the Limca book of records, but at least you have a germfree, sparkling washroom, which is the outcome of your effort.

Get the most out of you,because you alone can do it.